It was an evening right before going to church, while I stared distractedly into the mirror combing my hair, that my gaze suddenly fell upon a step ladder. There it was on the opposite side of the room resting heavily on top of a beautiful cupboard. It brought a smile to my face.
Psalm 119:37 – Turn away my eyes from looking at vanity, And revive me in Your ways.
The step ladder.
It was only months ago that we had moved into a new apartment. A bigger and more beautiful house the Lord has blessed us with. It is everything our family has dreamed of. A spacious colony buzzing with residents and ample activities to not make you feel too bored or isolated in your old age. The recently renovated apartment is beautifully designed with high quality woodwork and well thought out interiors.
Most of all, I was in love with my room. The room with a view. It stares right into a beautiful river with coconut tress in the background. Two cute cupboards, one complete with sliding mirror doors. A gorgeous dressing table, a clean and modern bathroom.
I was very particular about MY ROOM. From the kind of furniture we were getting to how it would be placed. It had to be clean, neat and basically MY WAY.
Ecclesiastes 5:10 – He who loves money will not be satisfied with money, nor he who loves abundance with its income. This too is vanity.
Fast forward a few months and you can picture this scene: I return home after venturing out for a chore and voila, the first thing I find upon entering my room is the step ladder. There it is, ugly as hell, in all its metallic glory (or gory!), grey and just full of steps. A utility item that was an immediate eyesore.
It is so instantaneous. Feeling your blood boil and rush around your veins while you struggle with your emotions. A short tempered person will get what I am talking about. For those of you blessed with calm nerves, be glad you have never felt this uncontrollable burst of anger. But as for me, it was a part of life. As a colleague recently put it, I was always sitting on a hot tava (frying pan).
But how could I let a STEP LADDER!! spoil the look of my beautiful room. How could I let that piece of metal ruin it ALL. Yes, it just took a medium sized step ladder to spoil my day, to take over my mind and emotions.
Psalm 31:6 – I hate those who regard vain idols, But I trust in the LORD.
Mommmmm! I called out with a sense of urgency one would relate to an emergency. Neither did I attempt to hide my anger. The moment she came in, I let it out. Ah, how good it felt. An angry, obnoxious, selfish rant.
“My room CANNOT be a store room. You HAVE TO take this out immediately. It is killing me to look at it”
Wow. My words may not have been the same, but in effect, they were the same. This is exactly how I felt. My poor mom said, okay.
Proverbs 29:11 – A fool always loses his temper, But a wise man holds it back.
Fast forward a few months and the step ladder is back! This time it was under my bed and although more concealed, I could see its reflection in the mirrored cupboard.
Consequence – Same outburst as last time.
James 1:20 – For the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God.
How many times do we allow our feelings (and that too for the silliest matter) rule our days and consequently our lives. I was letting my feelings rule my seconds, my minutes and my hours and days. I could never ever be practical. What mattered was HOW I FELT.
The world today gives so much importance to FEELINGS. In fact that is all anyone cares about anymore. How I feel, How I made you feel, How I could have made you feel etc etc. You got the drift.
So how do you get rid of this FEELING? Have you tried Jesus? Have you tried being a REAL CHRISTian?
Philippians 4:7 – And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
If Christ is in you, if you are walking with Christ, you will know what I am talking about.
You were sent here for a purpose. You are an ambassador of Christianity and yet you wonder how?
Challenge yourself. Even if for a week. Try living the selflessly meek life, a deliberate one and see if it gives you a different sense of livelihood, a sense of joy, a sense of fulfillment, a sense of being in spirit. .
When you FEEL bad, get rid of that feeling and instead put Christ first. You will know the difference.
It is difficult to lead a disciplined Christian life, but not impossible. I fail at times and so will anyone else, but we have to keep standing up every time we fall, we have to keep moving on and keep striving and never let things just be.
Romans 8:6 – For the mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace
Meanwhile the step ladder is back on top of the cupboard and I am happily oblivious to its presence 🙂